Diego the Mechanical Baby

So last week, I returned to my host family´s house carrying a 15 pound, life-size, three month old, of African decent, mechanical baby christened Diego.

Aprofam, a non-profit that works in family planning and sexual education in Guatemala, has a mechanical baby program similar to the kind in some middle schools do in the States. The youth development training staff wanted to connect us to the program that we may in the future do it with the youth we work with. But rather than tell us about it, they felt it would be much more powerful if we experienced it.

Now bear in mind that I am already a walking freak show in my village, as someone that has white skin and light hair, is about a full foot taller than anyone else in town, speaks English, and wears pants. As it is, people stare constantly, hiss, act awkward, or shout out my nationality (grina! grina!) when they see me in the streets. Throw an African American mechanical baby that cries into the mix and things begin to get really awkward.

The mechanical babies cry frequently, and when they do, you have to try a number of things to get them to shut up: give it a bottle, change the diaper, hold it, or burb it. (It can also tell if you don´t hold it properly or if you´re rough or if you leave it alone too much.)

So of course my Spanish teachers makes us take a walk through the town with the mechanical babies 10 minutes before class gets out, and mine begins to cry after people are already staring at us in bewilderment for carrying around large life-like dolls and a truck full of men is slowly passing by. To the great amusement of everyone present, I had to drop down on the sidewalk and change the thing´s diaper.

To make matters worse, Diego´s bottle was broken so he wouldn´t accept food. My partner in the activity took him the first day and (sleepless) night, so by the time I got him, I had a hungy, "sick" mechanical baby on my hands. When the babies get sick, apparently their cries become even more frequent and ear-piercing. So it had me up all night long, wailing it´s heart out and there was nothing I could do. Not only did my partner and I suffer more than anyone else, we also failed the project (52%).

Maybe we didn´t have it as bad as one of my friends who was walking down the street with her baby when it began to cry. The screams sent two street dogs into attack mode, and she had to swing the baby at them to fend them off (but she somehow managed to get 82% on the project).

Fortunately my host family thought the whole thing was just hilarious. As far as the rest of the town, I´m not so sure, especially since there is a rampant myth in Guatemala that foreigners kidnap babies. There have even been lynchings for some mistaken incidents. Luckily, I didn´t get lynched... yet.